Can we have a chat about tits? Baps, norks, bosoms (odd), whatever you call them. I’m a fan, I get it. And if a woman decides to get hers out, for whatever motivation, then fine, that’s her choice. I’m not a prude. I’ve had a lovely time on a nudist beach. I’ve also had a police caution for sunbathing topless in Australia (prudes). It’s liberating. As is skinny dipping and walking round your house naked with the curtains open. But this isn’t the point. And it’s getting a bit weird.

I’ve been following the Page 3 debate for the last couple of weeks with fascination. And there’s a couple of pieces I’ve read recently, written by women, which made me a tad perturbed.

First of all, I appreciate some don’t find Page 3 offensive so don’t get what the fuss is about. The girls are obviously willingly consenting and whole heartedly embrace it. It’s a ‘British institution’ and just some light hearted fun to some. Ok, well I too don’t feel offended by seeing a pair of boobs on Page 3. This isn’t why I’m anti it. What I wish the girls themselves and the women who I’ve read recently who label protestors against as ‘sandal wearers’ and ‘fun sponges’, is that it isn’t about the girls themselves. It isn’t about being offended by a semi naked woman and that (most infuriatingly) other women are jealous (for gods sake). We’re on your side! The point is the context in which we’re seeing them. If you want to see a pair of breasts there are endless options, everyone knows where to find it. Girls; take your tops off to your hearts content, just do it in the right place. Babestation is a cracking watch.

I can’t even fathom how it began, that it didn’t seem strange that whilst flicking through your newspaper you would just suddenly see a woman topless. You simply cannot deny that it is subliminally demeaning to women and objectifying them in view of the nation in a completely inappropriate context. I find it so archaic that it still exists. It felt like a small victory for women last week when it appeared to have been shelved. And, whilst I think it is a superb progressive step, the reason I say small is because I don’t really think anyone particularly cared whether it was there or not. Porn and nudity is so easily accessible, I struggle to imagine any man feeling that there was now a desperate void in his life that he couldn’t get his daily fix of a SEMI NAKED LADY. If it’s not that big a deal, what’s the point in keeping it? And as for the way The Sun dealt with it, it was like a teenage boy had triumphed. This is the thing; it all feels so juvenile and quite frankly, embarrassing. Just imagine those middle aged men (or worse, women) sitting smugly, giggling at the prospect of it returning. I can only imagine it being like a scene from Anchorman. But not funny. Just pathetic.

If it’s considered a ‘Great British Institution’ and people will feel a sadness that Jade, 21, won’t be sharing her political insights while showing off her nips, then I really think we need to revamp what constitutes an ‘institution’ in Britain.