I hate technology. I hate it. I hate iPhones. I hate iClouds. I hate iPhoto. I hate iANYTHING. I hate the people who queue to get the latest iMoneymaker at 4am. iDiots.

Ok, so right now, I am amid a very red mist of rage. Thing is, I had a lot of things to do today. I was supposed to finish painting my new loft floor. A tedious, but necessary and time consuming job which now won’t happen and the new desk which is taking up half my living room shall remain there for another irritating day so I can bump my thigh into it. Again.

And why? WHY YOU ASK (sorry-it’s not me it’s the rage). Because that stupidly expensive, overly addictive, all world consuming device called the iPhone has chosen to stop working. Is that really a big deal? Well, today I was expecting a couple of phone calls that I really needed to tick off my list. One of which is for another faulty yet overpriced item, my broken fridge door which is ONE year old (do NOT get me started). I can’t use my phone so that will be weakening at the hinges for another day. I tried to access my work email from home so I can use that for correspondence. But it required an extra ‘security’ check of sending a code to my phone for access. BRILLIANT. Technology is really screwing itself here. Or me, rather.

I just tried to chat to apple support online. Guess what they said? Let us know and we’ll call you back. HahahahahHAHhahaha, HILARIOUS. The phone doesn’t WORK. Started trying to chat in their ‘chatroom’ with them. Said they’d be ‘about 2 mins’. That was 28 minutes ago.

Yes, I know I have a choice. But realistically it would end up making everything more stressful. I’m addicted, THERE I SAID IT. iDdicted. I feel like such an iLemming. But seriously, technology is just getting too much, isn’t it? All your information entrusted on a device which we now know could be pretty easily hacked. HAVE YOU SEEN iROBOT?! It’s probably no surprise that this year I got a paper diary for christmas. It’s marvellous. And no-one else can edit that. Unless they pinch it, but that’s vandalism. I get a barage of invites and intrusion on my iPhone diary. It’s so bossy.

So right now, as I’ve used this blog as a form of therapy, I’m gonna leave my stupid iPain as there’s nothing that can be done and evidently no-one able to help me out (36 minutes thanks Apple) and I’m gonna have a glass of wine and paint my bloody loft. Then replicate the video below.

I also just remembered I have a landline…